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March 06, 2018 Tuesday 03:31:31 PM IST
Parents, Think Before You Control Them

Controlling, stopping from doing, restricting freedom, keeping them grounded, arresting their phone etc are some of the measures the parents use when the children do not obey them. Freedom is something the adolescent value very much and this "making them deprived of the freedom" is an overused tactic for sure. 

This deprivation can end up in more fuzz than a solution. Sometimes it may end up in the very opposite result too. Dear parents, don't be so desperate. There are enough other methods.

1. Discussion:

Other than yelling at them, invite them for a talk. Discuss. Yes, the discussion should be  both ways, but make sure you make your points clear. Clearly state what was wrongly done from the child's part. Say how grave and unacceptable it is. Tell him/her that in order to make sure that this scenario is not repeated again, they need to bring in something. Ask them to do some house hold works on their holiday. Participate along with them, so that they don't feel like you are punishing them, yet well aware that why they had to do this. (Quoted as example. Modify as per your requirement)

2. Supervision:

Tell the child that as she/ he failed to keep her word several times, you will be cross checking from now onwards. Say it before you do. Tell her that you will check her notes, homework, assignments and also will cross check with her teachers. Let them know that you will do, so that they won't feel like you are spying on them. (Quoted as example. Modify as per your requirement)

3. Reparation:

The best mode of "disciplinary measure" would be reparation. Make them realize what wrong they did, and make them do works/ actions to pacify it. Do not treat it like a commander. Assign them the work, take part in it, supervise and intervene whenever and wherever needed.

Most importantly, the child should be convinced why this happened. Whether she/he agrees to it or not, is not a concern. But the reason should be clearly communicated.