Often, to bring in some discipline or sometimes out of frustration, parents leash up on their children some phrases, which they should never do. These comments will create deep scars in the child's psyche, wiping off which would be a difficult task.
Here are some of such instances:
*Comparing with sibling:
"Why don't you learn from your brother? He is so good. Why aren't you like him?". What a pathetic statement to make! We can't blame the child if he starts to develop a disliking for that brother who is so perfect! Along with that, he may develop the thought "parents do not love me as much as they do my brother. I am not that good". Stop comparing your child.
* "You are making my life complicated":
Your child is not responsible for your complicated life. Rather, you are responsible for making his life less enjoyable with such comments.
*"You are just like your father/ mother":
We know that "Happy Couple" is very rare. There could be issues, quarrels, even divorce. However upset one parent might be, talk with dignity about the other parent. Do not wash your dirty linen in front of the child.
*"Get rid of your friends":
As adults, we know how to save ourselves from bad companies. But children do not possess that sense. It will take years for them to learn that skill. Till then, be conscious about the words you choose. Do not be blunt. Discuss with them, and try to make them see things from another perspective. Do not conclude with "I have told you enough. Now, don't come to me when you are in trouble because of your friends". Rather assure him that you respect his choice and to remember that you are there if ever he feels something negative.
Be gentle and sensible with kids. There are so many other ways than being harsh.
(Source: Times of India)