"Why do you and daddy fight? You don't love each other?" . "Atharv in my class doesn't pee like me. He has something different down there." These are some of the common questions you hear when you are mothering a young and curious child. Awkwardly, these questions can spring up sometimes when you least expect it - especially when you are sitting in a gathering. So what should we do? Shut up the kid or answer them and how? Here we try to make it simple for you:
Why do you fight with papa? Don't you love each other?
Children suffer emotionally when you fight. They sometimes even feel guilty for it. So it is extremely important to make them understand that it is not their fault. Tell them people can argue when they disagree with each other. But that doesn't mean that the love is lost. "It's the same as when we try to discipline you and get angry for sometime. But that does not mean we don't love you."
Why do people die?
Don't lie about death. Tell them that everyone dies one day. Dogs die sooner than us humans. Flowers die sooner than dogs. But everything has a specified time and they all die. "People die after living their life - after having created beautiful memories and adventures, they get really old and die."
Why do you leave me behind to go to work?
Let your child know that your job is important. "I hate leaving you behind but I have to. My work is very important and I will be back in the evening and then we will spend quality time together."
I am scared of ghosts!
Don't ignore your child's fears. Probe them to know what scares them - is it a shadow in the dark or an unexplained noise. Help her find the source of these to release her fears. Or pick one toy and tell her that the toy has magical spells that can scare away the monsters. So she can use the toy to make the ghost disappear.
I don't want to go to the doctor!
Your child should know that when she is unwell or her vaccination is due, a visit to the doctor is necessary. "The doctor wants to help you fight germs. The treatment can be a little uncomfortable or painful sometimes but it will make them feel better. You should not be scared of doctors."
Why that boy is different down there?
Growing kids are curious about their genitals. Ignoring their queries will make them even more curious and make them look for other ways to find answers. So never ignore such questions. Tell them that boys and girls are made differently - you can even let them know the name of the private parts - Leading child pyschologists believe that it's ok to tell kids about genitals.
Why is that man fat?
It is extremely embarrassing to see your kid point at unusual looking people in public. Tell them that everyone is made different - their size, shape, skin colour and it's absolutely normal. "Pointing a finger at them can hurt their feelings so never point at people. You can ask me about them in their absence so you don't upset them."
Do you love my brother more than me?
It is common to see siblings fight for attention from their parents. So never ever draw comparisons, as it will make matters worse. Let your little one know that you love them both equally. "There are times when I may express it in different ways but I love you both the same way."
(Indebted to various sources)