Couples! Balance intimacy and independence for better performance!
Attachment Theory states that the capacity of a person to form an emotional and physical attachment to a primary caregiver provides a sense of strength and cohesion, and security required to take risks, grow and shine, and develop as an individual of positive temperament.
The mode of attachments and their impacts in child-parent relationships and relationship between couples are asserted to be as follows:
Attachment in child-parent/caregiver relationships
The sense of security achieved from strong attachments with at least one parent or caregiver helps children to progress in life with a sense of security and freedom. On the contrary, those lacking such attachments have to spend a huge volume of their energy to hunt for security and stability in life. They tend to be fearful and less adaptable to environments.
Attachment in adult relationships
Relationships between couples were found to be of three types – couples with weak attachments, those with too-strong attachments and those managed to reach a balance between intimacy and independence.
Analyses of responses of these three types of couples to various stresses and stimuli expose interesting facts:
The fundamental affirmation is that a strong attachment is an urgency in adult relationships.
Adults had a weak attachment, showed feelings of inadequacy and a lack of intimacy on the part of both parties. When attachments were too strong, there were issues with co-dependency.
The relationships functioned best when both parties managed to balance intimacy with independence.
As in the case with children, the ideal situation seems to be an attachment that functions as a secure base from which one can reach out and gain experience in the world.
(Indebted to various sources)