Becoming an emotionally intelligent parent
“The secret to being an emotionally intelligent parent lay in how parents interact with their children when emotions ran hot.” says Dr. Gottman who developed the concept of Meta-emotion. The concept speaks about how people feel about specific emotions, emotional expression and emotional understanding in general.
Researches conducted in selected families for long years led to the conclusion that successful parents tended to do five very simple things with their children when they were emotional. Gottman calls these five elements “Emotion Coaching.” He discovered that children who had “Emotion Coaches” for parents were on an entirely different, more positive developmental trajectory than the children of other parents.
It is also observed that concerned, warm, and involved parents often had attitudes toward their children and their children’s emotions that got in the way. This point towards the feelings that underlie the misbehaviour of children
Moreover, Gottman and other researchers also observed that children gain the most when parents themselves have a firm and lively relationship between them. It is an eye-opening fact that in families where the parents are not living with each other or are not going to stay married, the parents can best help their children by minimizing their children’s exposure to destructive conflict. High levels of parental conflict form emotional distress in children and reduce effective parenting skills.